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‘Cause the last thing I wanna be is another negative asshole

Like God speaks through my acoustic guitar and I’ve got the perfect set of morals

On a dry erase board at the front of the house

Follow these conditions or we’ll kick your ass out

Vegans only, no meat allowed!

Straight edge only, no drinking allowed!

Fixed gears only, no three-speeds allowed!

Me, me, me, I’m smart, I’m right, I’m smart!